Refuge
by wsm021
Summary: She stared into his eyes as his hands held hers to his heart. She asked the question that would bring on the end with her eyes, words just wouldn’t do it justice. Sequel to 'Without You'. this is it so let me know what you think :


Disclaimer: Though I wish at 11:11 every day and night, I still don't own Glee =(

_**Rachel**_

She didn't think it was possible for him to be any more beautiful than he had been back then but the years had been good to him. She tried to listen as the rabbi recites El Maleh Rachamim but she is too caught up by his presence. She thinks of all the times she had spent with Hannah Puckerman and how much the woman had loved her like only a mother could. It had broken her heart when to become someone else's daughter-in-law but such were the facts of life and she was too old be bitter about it.

After everything had happened between them, Hannah had made sure to stay in contact. For years she had wondered why she'd brought Noah to her wedding, and the tears began as she remembered her words of closure. She felt cleansed, more than she had through the entire ceremony and let the words to wash over her. _"It is important to say goodbye to that which you have loved and lost, open wounds leave the soul restless. Child, life can not truly be lived with a soul that knows not of peace." _

She walked up to him as people began to leave and ignored the eyes she could feel watching her every move. Standing next to him she places her hand in his and laces their fingers together. She feels him shudder but he makes no move to look at her. She wonders for a second if he thinks it's his girlfriend. She almost lets go but the grip he has on her is like a vice. She can see the tears running down his cheeks as she comes to stand in front of him.

She brings her hand to his face and her diamond ring sparkles in the sunlight. She pretends it's the one that he gave her all those years ago as she wipes his tears away. She hadn't had kids because she'd never really wanted them. Kids had been his dream and she had been willing to give them to him because she loved him. After he had gone she had promised to never have children out of respect to them. She rests her head above his heart and wonders if he can feel hers against his chest. She wants to take away his pain, to give him peace in the wake of his mother's death but she had no idea how. She looks up at him and his haunted eyes spur her into action. She will ask god to forgive her later for the damage this may do to his relationship. She brings his face down to her lips and kisses his temples, his forehead and finally his lips.

She feels like she's choking, like all the air had been sucked out of the room and she was hyperventilating. She had forgotten what it felt like to be so consumed by someone, to not know where you ended and they began. They weren't being crude and she was sure the kiss didn't last the hours it felt like to her but still, he had a family and she had a husband. But they needed this. She would not let his soul remain tortured when she could heal him.

What she hadn't expected was for him to heal her. She'd gotten use to walking around with a heart in pieces and it overwhelmed her to feel whole again. She spared her husband a glace and knew instantly that he would give her this moment, but it had to be the last. And it would be, she knew that. She didn't have any more moments like this left inside of her, she didn't have more than this to give. There was another world somewhere; a world where she and Noah were together, whole and in love. But this was not that world, it could never be that world.

She lowered her lips from his and rested her forehead against his Star of David as he placed kisses atop her head. Three deep breaths and she was ready to say goodbye to the man she had loved and lost. She stared into his eyes as his hands held hers to his heart. She asked the question that would bring on the end with her eyes, words wouldn't do it justice. She closed her eyes, wanting to hold on to the moment and when he didn't answer she was scared he would leave her restless. "Please…" She didn't look up, she didn't need to. His tears fell from his checks down her own and she waited.

_**Noah**_

There is a saying that a parent should never have to bury their child. He understands the principle but wonders if parents understood the pain they caused in their children by dying. Hannah had never meant to cause him pain, he knew this. She was the most loving, kind hearted person he'd even known. If he had asked her to life forever he was sure she would have done her very best to do just that, for his sake. He thanked god that his children were old enough that they would always remember their Nana Hannah and that her memory would live on past him.

He ignored her most of the ceremony. He couldn't handle his heart breaking anymore than it already was. He was sure she looked beautiful, and the years and been good to her because really what other option was there. He'd stop asking about her after his first daughter was born, but if something was seriously wrong he knows Quinn would have told him. Since she never did, he figured it was safe to bet she'd been happy. The thinks he could have made her happier, but that was a ship long gone.

He didn't look at her as she placed her still tiny hand in his. He knew it was her the minute she was beside him. He felt her inside of his soul, it caused a slow burn that could only mean she was near. He couldn't stop the tears and he hoped she'd curled her hair for him and thought he even liked it short. He could see feel her ring against his skin and pretended it was the one he kept in a safety deposit box in the Bronx. He had never gotten married, he'd never wanted to. Marriage was her thing and he was willing to do whatever she wanted because he loved her. He swore the day she said I do that he would never get married out of respect to them.

He has to remind himself to keep breathing as she kisses him. He could die in that every second and be happier than he'd been in a long time. But this is about living and he feels a his soul engulfed in flames and then washed with purest water. And just like that he was whole again, and absolved of the sins of his past. He spares a look to his girlfriend, then mother of his children and there's a sad smile on her face. A smile that tells him she understands, that she loves him and that she'll be there like she always had been. He would need her after this, this was the last goodbye and Sarah to be the reason he went on just liked she'd been all these years.

Three deep breaths and he's ready to give her the answers she needs. He has to close his eye because its too hard to look at her and say goodbye that the same time. He feels her shake, scared that he won't free them both from this torture. "Please…" His tears run down his face and he's not sure if she's crying on too as they hit her cheeks. Her brown eyes ask him to love her, forever and always. And his hazel eyes tell her that he does that he always will. Then his lips give them the peace they need. "Goodbye Rachel"

FIN

_**Author's note: you should take a listen to the John Legend song with the same title, it's beautiful. Ps: if you guys cried a bit that's cool, lol cuz I'm tearing up right now too.**_


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